Be Home

all I ever need

All I ever need I find on my coffee table. Yes, we live in our living room, fittingly. Especially in the winter. I couldn't resist a picture one Saturday morning when we realized that all that is essential could be found on this one surface.

Books. check. Computer. check. Coffee (iced and hot). check. Lego's, ipod, bottled water. check,check,check. Magazines. check. Three boys sprawled out on the couch, man of the house in his leather chair, and mama in the rocker. check.  And you can bet that the knitting is out of sight but being worked in the shadows.

someone to miss

Sometimes when certain people leave this earth it finalizes your childhood in a way that years continuing to march on with age simply doesn't seem to bother with. My grandpa died last night. Preceded by my grandma exactly 6 months earlier to the day. These are my dad's parents, to which their son did not get a chance to out live them. 

Funny, I was talking of my childhood within this side of our family only yesterday. Telling of the many grandchildren, 25 last time I consciously counted, and of great-grand children many who are older than some of the grandchildren. Almost like two generations for a single set of grandparents. How I wish I could describe for you all the memories of family gatherings. Full of people, full of laughter, full of conversations and yes, always full of a little chaos. But good, Oh so good. 

How is it that our patriarchs are gone? 

Grandpa would always greet each of us and say, "I loves my ...Tavi"

And every grandchild would return, "I loves my grandpa" ...because well, we did.

timing

Children's Hope International, our adoption agency, just got approval for rejoining the Waiting Children Program from the China Center of Adoption Affairs!

This is huge news for us!!! Before CHI went through an accreditation crisis we put our family paperwork on a list for receiving a special needs referral. All of that came to a halt for months because our agency had to pull themselves out of the Waiting Child program till they were reinstated under the Hague Accreditation. (A "lovely" new procedure for international adoption paperwork but great for the protection of orphans). 

CHI has a list of families that total 44 currently. As new children become available they will be matched with those families on that list according to the special needs that the particular family applied. In the newsletter I received this morning it said that some families in that 44 were currently reviewing a specific child's paperwork! 

It is still too soon to put up any estimations on what that means for us and time frames but I know one thing - it means things are moving again!!! Hallelujah! 

Unbelievably, Andrew and I had just finished a conversation this afternoon about how the adoption was fitting into our scope of life currently and wondering how God would speak to his timing on the progress and mindset of what abiding in Him looked at this point. I wish I would learn faster the first time around the mountain, that God has impeccable timing IN everything! Down to even the smallest half-hour! Fortunately, my learning curve is not in vain...

See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.

Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast.

...for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

For God is not so unjust as to overlook your work and the love that you showed for his sake in serving the saints, as you still do. And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness to have the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.

James 5.7-8,11 - James 1.4-4 - Hebrews 6.10-12 

John Greenleaf Whittier

"The Meeting" 

And so I find it well to come

For deeper rest to this still room,

For here the habit of the soul

Feels less the outer world's control;

The strength of mutual purpose pleads

More earnestly our common needs;

And from the silence multiplied 

By these still forms on every side

The world that time and sense has known

Falls off and leaves us, God, alone.

shhhh it's quiet time

This is quiet time. Probably one of the top three best pieces of advice I received when studying home school curriculum. Quiet Time. When Nicholas was just leaving the stage of needing a daily nap and Peter was a newborn we started this as a part of our "education". After lunch each boy makes his way to his room and gets his quiet time stuff. (Not very quietly I might add). Stuff has ranged with age. Originally it was only books and drawing. But somehow Lego's became a part of it as well. Oh, and an occasional Leapter. The rule is, "Stay in bed, and be quiet." Simple, even for a two year old. (After a little reinforcement. lol) Sometimes we have enjoyed books on CD during this time or our history and music lessons, also on CD. Even when the boys shared a room it was doable. (They have had many, many room arrangement and not always according to where their bed was located!) The new benefit in the last two years is Nicholas' ability to have built in time to finish up schoolwork, reading assignments, or memory work. Oh yeah, and of course the big benefit is that I get quiet time too. With three boys 24/7 it is two hours of daily recharge that keep me going strong!

I do think that quiet time has become not just something good but something that I see as training. Over phases of wondering whether we should use that time more productively, I came to the conviction that quiet time was about setting a precedent. In this busy world I want my children to know the value of quietness and time spent alone with their thoughts. Eventually, I know that this time will become essential to their life in prayer and dutiful reflection. And it also currently helps me maintain mine. So really, what could be more productive than that? A lot of creativity comes forth in times of stillness and that is exactly what it is today. The curriculum subject - Creativity and Contemplation 101.

a note from mom

A lunchbox Valentine, minus the lunchbox.

tuna sandwich

Really? A tuna sandwich? Yep! This one is special. And it's special because you don't know it's special! Huh? This is a gluten-free sandwich! Doesn't it look delicious?! Amazing. Toasted a bit, it smells good too. I can't even begin to tell you, that after 5 years of trying to provide great meals without gluten (wheat, rye, barley, oats, etc.) it's so refreshing to hand your child a sandwich that you wish YOU could eat. Life is good. 

a february thunderstorm

A thunderstorm on a evening in February. This is the mid-west mind you! Oh, how I love the sound of rain as it punctuates the world with it's presence!  I purposely made my way to bed early so that I could enjoy it's soft and soothing rhythm while reading a good book. In our bedroom the master bath has a skylight to where the sound of clouds giving forth what they can no longer hold onto is echoed throughout it's chambers.

But I was not alone. Who but my little one would tip-toe into my lair with a grin and a whine, something to the effect of being scared. So we both cuddled under the covers and out again to watch the rain through the open window. There was a bit of playtime to be sure and then finally to be asleep.

ode to spring

Last week a very dear friend dropped by to say hello along with a cheerful bouquet of flowers in hand. The bouquet was so bright and colorful that they reminded me that spring will soon arrive. But amongst these beautiful flowers one Gerber daisy stood out from the rest. Therefore one morning I plucked it from the rest and gave it a place of honor. It is truly amazing how one bit of nature's bounty can bring new mercies into each day.

So what's reminding you that spring will come?

Who Am I?

by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Who am I? They often tell me

I would step from my cell's confinement 

calmly, cheerfully, firmly,

Like a squire from his country-house.

Who am I? They often tell me 

I would talk to my warders

freely and friendly and clearly,

as though it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me 

I would bear the days of misfortune

equably, smilingly, proudly,

Like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of?

Or am I only what I know of myself,

restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,

struggling for breath,as thought hands were

compressing my throat,

hungry for colours, for flowers, for the voices of birds,

thirsty for words of kindness, for neighbourliness,

trembling with anger at despotisms and 

petty humiliation,

caught up in expectation of great events,

powerlessly grieving for friends at an infinite distance,

weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,

faint, and ready to lay farewell to it all?

Who am I? This or the other?

Am I one person today, and tomorrow another?

Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,

and before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?

Or is something within me still like a beaten army,

fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions 

of mine.

Whoever I am, thou knowest, O God, I am thine.

These are Bonhoeffer's words in his final days as a capture of World War II, Berlin. They beautifully parallel a world today, that as Os Guinness states in his book The Call,

"...professing to be unsure of God, they pretend to be sure of themselves. Followers of Christ put things the other way around: Unsure of ourselves, we are sure of God."